"The World Is on Fire, but Please Talk About AI Cat Videos Instead"

“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.” — Mark Twain

Democracy! That glorious system where we get to choose which overpaid, over-scripted, power-hungry elite will pretend to fix our problems while actually making them worse. You know it’s bad when elections feel less like a democratic process and more like a chaotic episode of Survivor: Political Hunger Games Edition. Fun fact: in 2024, over 60 countries held elections, and somehow, none of them produced a leader who actually understands the economy. Amazing, right?

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. Or, in some cases, bigger forests to set on fire because climate change is still that awkward topic politicians discuss only when their coastal mansions start getting flooded.

The G20 recently convened in Rio de Janeiro, where world leaders nodded sagely about peace, nodded sagely about global warming, and then flew back in their private jets to nod sagely somewhere else. Progress! Sage Scums!

Meanwhile, technology is evolving faster than our moral compasses. AI is here, and it’s fabulous! It can write love poems, generate cat videos, and, oh yes, manipulate elections with the efficiency of a Swiss watch. Cybersecurity? Who needs it! Just trust that your personal data is safe in the hands of billion-dollar corporations that have totally never been hacked before (except, well, always). Oh, and if AI ends up writing better laws than Congress, we should just let it. Couldn’t be worse. Actually, let’s go further—replace the entire political class with robots, at least they won’t pretend to care.

Speaking of power struggles, the U.S. and China are still circling each other like two heavyweight boxers who’ve forgotten how to punch but still want to intimidate. China’s Belt and Road Initiative? A global trade revolution! Or a polite way of saying, “Nice infrastructure you’ve got there. Be a shame if we owned it.” The U.S., meanwhile, is playing its favorite game: spending ungodly amounts of money on defense while debating whether or not healthcare is a human right. Priorities! It’s like watching two toddlers fight over a toy, except the toy is global economic dominance, and the toddlers have nukes.

Now, let’s talk about populism, that magical force that transforms completely unqualified people into elected officials because, hey, at least they “speak their mind.” People are mad—rightfully so. Inflation’s up, wages are stagnant, and somehow, avocado toast is still being blamed for economic decline. The UK’s Conservative Party and Germany’s Social Democrats recently got yeeted into political oblivion, proving that people will only tolerate incompetence for so long before throwing the entire system into a blender. Refreshing! Now we just need to convince voters that a candidate who shouts nonsense loudly isn’t necessarily a revolutionary—sometimes they’re just a loud idiot.

So, where does that leave us? Staring at a world run by leaders who think climate change can be solved with thoughts and prayers, where AI is a better strategist than most politicians, and where voting feels like choosing between a migraine and a stomach flu. But hey—at least we still have memes.

Here’s the deal: We can either sit back and watch the world burn (literally and metaphorically), or we can do something radical, like paying attention and holding leaders accountable. Read the policies. Question the narratives. Demand action. And for the love of all things sane, stop electing people who think science is a liberal conspiracy.

Because if we don’t? Well, the next world summit will probably be held underwater, and let’s be honest, half these politicians don’t even know how to swim. Hope you brought a snorkel. And maybe a life raft—for all of us.